Gratitude When Feeling Low
it will sustain you
It is easy to feel grateful when things go the way we want or when our desires are met. How can we possibly feel gratitude when the bottom drops out of our life?
My Mother’s Last Gift to Me: Gratitude
I remember the last conversation that I had with my mother before she transitioned almost 14 years ago. As we were speaking, I knew it was our last conversation. My Mom wanted me to know that she loved me. She told me how extremely grateful she was for her life. This might surprise those who live in a state of entitlement or victimhood.
My Mom was born to a sharecropper’s family in the Appalachian mountains during the “great depression”. She was the second oldest of 7 children. She didn’t have electricity until she was 16 years old. Her father abandoned the family when she was very young. The neighbors donated newspapers to the family to insulate their one-room house. They raised chickens and were too poor to eat the eggs — they had to sell them for other supplies.
To escape dire poverty, Mom became an R.N. and joined the Navy where she met my father. She hurt her back lifting a riding lawn mower when I was 4 years old. She endured 7 major back surgeries that made her worse and worse. Finally, when I was 12 years old, she had a stimulator implanted in her brain for pain relief. I can’t imagine being awake as they drilled a hole into her skull to see where in her brain she would get the most pain relief. And yet, she still endured more pain every day than most of us have every experienced.
My mother’s last gift to me was her gratitude. I realized that if she could be grateful for a life of hardship and suffering, there was absolutely nothing blocking me from feeling extreme gratitude.
After my mom transitioned, waves of grief would descend upon me. At the same time, I was swimming in a sea of gratitude for my life. So the grief and the gratitude existed simultaneously. The gratitude sustained me.
The Bottom Dropped Out of my Life
Nine years ago, the weekend after Thanksgiving, I learned that my now ex-husband was engaged in lots of extra marital activities. The bottom dropped out of my life. I asked my daughter (then 13) to make a gratitude journal for me for Christmas. She made a beautiful journal by hand. I treasure the journal to this day.
Some days, the only thing I wrote after the date was: I am grateful for my daughters, I am grateful for my pugs or the sunshine or the roof over my head.
In those dark months, I broke into a million pieces most nights and somehow managed to put myself back together by the morning to care for my daughters. Gratitude carried me on its wings, uplifting my days when my heart felt so broken and betrayed that I found it difficult to carry on.
Gratitude is a Gift from God
In hindsight, I realize that I had spent my entire life being resilient, resourceful, independent, and needless. This experience taught me that I could no longer pretend to carry on by myself. I had to turn to God.
On the days when you feel overcome with grief or despair, know that gratitude is a gift from God. Your life is a gift from God. You are not a random accident and God doesn’t make mistakes.
As Thanksgiving approaches, avoid the tendency to get overwhelmed by travel, cooking, or family members you’d rather avoid. Instead, take a moment to quietly contemplate all of the good in your life.
What are you grateful for?
I am grateful for my health, my daughters, my boyfriend, my father, my sister and her soon-to-be husband, my friends, my home, my Orthodox Christian parish, Father James, my work, my fellow Mace Energy Method Practitioners, my dogs and cat, my ex-husband who forced me step into my power, all of the amazing writers and podcasters who inspire me, this exact moment, and so much more!
Gratitude is a powerful attitude towards life that will uplift you in your darkest moments. I made this gratitude journal page for you to download and use. Reply to this email if you want the PDF.
I wish you a peaceful and uplifting Thanksgiving holiday.
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